Yuunic

(I apologize in advance for making this public but...there isn't really any other way to contact you so...yeah. Sorry.)
 
It's been 7 months since we last talked. I don't know if you are still around here or not, but I know you still know my dA so...who knows, maybe someday you'll see this.

 It probably seems selfish of me to write this right now but...
 We aren't the same person from before,
we aren't in a weak state anymore,
we aren't mad or skeptical at each other,
we've had our time to deal with our own emotions.

 Which is why I'm writing this. I didn't reply to you on your last note cause I promised I wouldn't reply back. Of course at that time I was struck with depression and I was on the edge so I was more aggressive than usual. I apologize for that. That was completely rude of me.

 But there was a reason I decided to cut it off and not reply back. Something I was waiting for you to do which you didn't.
 A certain thing. But you didn't.
 I don't know if this went the same with previous people but for me it was something specific.
 It was not your falseness. I knew you were being honest.
 It was not because you are a "bad" person. I know you well. I know you are a nice sensitive and loyal person. 

 It was because you thought about yourself only.
 Of how "miserable" you were, because of all the tragedies that happened to you before and after we met. 
 What I'm trying to say, 
 I don't mind you making excuses, because in reality excuses aren't a thing. Only "understanding" exists. I understood what you had to tell me, about your situation, all.
 I was...disappointed because you never decided to understand me.
I remembered your schedules,
I remembered the wonderful weekends you spent with your family,
I remembered the fights you had with your roommate,
I remembered what you liked and disliked,
I...made sure to be attentive to anything. Why? Because you were my friend and, with all people who have become dear friends to me, the way I show my affection is by being attentive to everything they have
It usually goes unnoticed, I know that from experience but I don't mind since friendship isn't just that.

 You said I was being blunt towards you. That actually happened after you started to talk to me awkwardly and with discomfort. I was confused and then disappointed. You knew me...or so I thought. I was surprised to find you thought I was still mad even after we talked it out. 
 But you kept on apologizing. You just...kept on. As if we were strangers. That made me sad, you know? Hadn't I accepted your apologies enough? Should I have to? I don't know. What did you want?

 So...here you go, the explanation I never gave you of why I cut it off.
 Stop putting yourself down. You aren't a bad person. You aren't worthless.
 You probably thought I moved on and forgot about you, didn't you?
 HAH, wish it was that easy. 
I did move on what happened. But I regret soooo many things I've done. Memories and emotions come back from time to time and "torment" me. Okay, no, that's too much, but you get it.
But there is no way I'd forget you.
You were an important person in my life. 
A best friend.

I'm sorry.

On a side note, hope you haven't left behind any friend who you never had any problems with. Hope you aren't avoiding them. Appreciate the ones you have. Or you'll lose them.

W-well, this...is awkward...Hi! How are you? Long time no talk ^w^/ 
This is weird and, I doubt anyone of my remaining watchers will read this but... I think I owe an explanation and update on what happened and why I disappeared ;;;;w;;;;
BUT FIRST
SORRY
I don't know just, sorry? I apologize for disappearing like nothing and for not replying to messages for just....just anything. Anything that happened during the ends of 2014 and 2015. I also apologize for not replying to those beautiful birthday wishes, I can't even believe you still sent me messages wishing me happy birthday even if I wasn't here, I read them all and...thank you so so very much~<3 You guys are amazing ;;;_;;;
Secondly, okay, Yuun, wtf happened to you? Let's say...all the things that happened in 2014, be it here online or IRL (School) just..."broke" me. It took me the WHOLE 2015 to recover. I kid you not, a whole year OTL I mean...after school and moving to Korea, the stress and everything disappeared...but that added onto new ones, ones I couldn't handle because I was weak from the previous year. Moving away from my family and friends took a toll on me, especially since it's been difficult for me to make real good friends. And...I don't like pointing out to people, I really don't but it won't make sense otherwise. On 2014 me and a really good friend of mine got...into a "fight"...well, not really, we just...stopped talking and didn't talk back again until October of the same year. We got back and stuff but, things weren't the same as before. It was really hard and stressing to talk to them. Then something happened, I was accused of something that I didn't do and they exploded. I wouldn't have...minded if it wasn't because of the way they talked to me. We sent each other notes and the more I received the more I realized their true colors. If they just...stopped we may have ended on better terms...they just continued guilt tripping me even though they never knew or asked about my side of the story, trying to make themselves seem like the victim and...they already did before on 2014 so I decided I've had enough.
What does this have to do with my inactivity on dA? Well, dA is a reminder of the good times I have with many people I've met online but mostly good and bad memories with this person. In the beginning I was being inactive because of the stress and school but when it was 2015...it was just impossible. It's still giving me this terrible anxious feeling to type on this journal...haha... I mean, I've been here checking on other people's stuff but not to comment nor upload art.
So
yeah
I'm sorry
But a month ago something changed. I've decided that I'd stop feeling depressive. It's weird, trust me x'D And now I'm a whole lot better. Again talking with people, arting and stuff >w<
Does this mean I'll be back on dA? I mean...I still feel weird to be here...I'm not really sure. I did say to myself I'd be back but..it's not definite owo""" HOWEVER! I am active on my Tumblr over here That is...if you wanna talk to me and see my art >w<
I wrote this journal to clarify my disappearance and to tell you, yo! I'm still here :'D
So yeah uhm...for those who read all of this, thank you? ;;;w;;; Thank you so much and sorry, really
I love you guys~<3 
Thanks for reading UvU
and hope you have an awesome and amazing day~<3<3<3
oh yeah
MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR \owo/

It's been a month and some weeks since I've installed myself here in Korea but didn't get a computer (still don't) but recently got a laptop >w< I also have a tablet finally :'D
I've been thinking of leaving this dA tho for some time (since about a year ago) but lately I feel more and more like leaving it OTL Idk if I lost interest or just want another account...idk. But until I decide on what to do, I'll still use this one...I'll try to keep my interest in this one cause I have so many memories with this account :'D and I met awesome people >w<
So yeah, I am back but I'll see how active I will be >w<
HAPPY LATE VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE~!!

First of all, hope everyone has a nice awesome holiday wherever you live >w<
In a few hours I'm boarding my plane to Korea. Finally living there~ So, will pretty much miss christmas and stuff.
I would have drawn something but I have packed everything.
So, yeah, pretty much made a journal to say I'm gonna be on a hiatus until I get a new computer there =w=
I'll try to answer messages and stuff through iPod TwT Those who talk to me through Skype...I'll have wifi again around...in 6 days? x'D _hopefully
ANYWAY
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A NICE BOOTYFUL CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR~<3
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN~<3<3<3
LOVE YOU GUYS~

I've been tagged by precious bunyro _{(whyyoudothistomepreciousperson)}
AND! Since I don't have time but today, I'm doing it asdfgrertahth

STEP ONE
Make a post to your DA journal. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a ______ icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("all I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV."). The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your DA or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO
Surf around your friends list (or friends' friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now, here's the important part:

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use -- do it.

You need not spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf -- to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not -- it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Give, and you might receive. and you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

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I wish for..

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10. It's actually difficult for me to ask someting because I REALLY don't know what to ask for TwT _{Plus,Idon'tcelebrateChristmas.} So, I just wish for everyone to give someting to a friend/family/stranger/ANYONE! Just to spread the happies \>w</

Totally didn't accept to do this tag to know what my firends want

Tags: Shiinrai, AbnormallyNice, Blue-Pancakes, McPippypants, Onigiri-DragonBoat, UltimateSassMaster, HiKa-LiZ, FoxRodDraws, and more....but I gota go now TwT/

I'll check later to see what gifts I can do once I'm free >w< _{EventhoughImaybelate}
Iamsorryguys